My Strange August Restlessness

The past few weeks have been a little bit strange, admittedly August is always a little bit strange. I’ve been on the school carousel for 31 years, either as a student or teacher. The specter of school starting was always there waiting in September. With the anxiety/sadness that comes with the end of summer, there was always something new waiting. There was something there, for better and worse. There was the excitement of seeing friends and colleagues. There was the sense of a fresh start, the glossiness of September.

On the other hand, there’s the sadness of losing all that wonderful free time at the end of summer. The extra thirty minutes laying in bed with nothing pressing on the day’s schedule. The promise of a trip somewhere far away or just down the road. The temptation to just sit and read without feeling like it was “for school.” The rush of deleting your school email from your phone or just simply setting an “out of office” reply.

Typically, those were the emotions I’d feel leading up to this very, exact morning. You see, as I am writing this, my former colleagues are gathering for opening faculty meetings.

Over the course of my life, I have always been a pretty solid sleeper. At some points, I’d be worried that I slept too well before or after a really tough day professionally or personally (is there something wrong with me?). During the last 2-3 weeks, this has not been the case. I have found myself laying in bed in the middle of the night wide awake, wondering if I should just get up and read or watch TV. Even at the end of the day, getting my brain to settle down has been more of a struggle than I can remember. It’s weird because it’s summer.

But as I thought about it, I started to realize where some of the restlessness was coming from: the void of an upcoming day was daunting. In the past, I’d go to bed in August knowing that I was running out of days to fill, so I’d be anxious to fill them. Predictably, a few school dreams (nightmares?) would weasel their way into my subconscious. No matter what, I’d also have the September finish line (or starting line, however you want to look at it) ahead of me. Nine months of structured, busy, fulfilling, challenging, fun days from September to June.

As of today, I have no finish line or starting line. I have nothing dragging me out of bed in the morning other than my own motivation to fill my day so I can go to bed knowing I didn’t waste it.

At the end of the day, I have to go to bed feeling assured that I can fill the day ahead of me. The last few weeks, this has been my fear, “how am I going thoughtfully and creatively fill my day.” It’s a mental dynamic I have never experienced before.

I know, I know. This is an insane thing to worry about when so many people have bigger things keeping them up at night, but it’s where I am right now.

This particular day as I write this is one that I knew would feel strange (along with the first day of school next week). I was right; it does feel strange. I didn’t expect that the weeks leading up to the start of school would feel as restless as they have.

All of a sudden, I’m in the position of the students I had over the years. I preached about trusting the process about patience about believing in themselves about taking lumps in stride and about reflecting.

As I left school last June, a sagely colleague said to me, “So you’re going to wake up and write everyday.” It’s a statement that has stuck with me and echoes in my mind frequently.

That’s been my goal all summer: Wake up and write.

I’m going to make that my September Gloss. Wake up and write.

No new clothes. No trapper keepers.

And hopefully some better nights of sleep.

Be Kind To Teachers in August (aka July 2.0)

There’s an old joke that the three best things about teaching are June, July, and August. Summer is a delightful time of year for everyone, and many teachers are afforded the luxury of having a bunch of time off. I spent some of my summers working at camp until I realized a break from kids was actually necessary. I got my Masters over a few summers, too. Some summers I just did nothing, and spent my time recharging my batteries and chipping away at school projects so September wasn’t a kick in the teeth. Make hay and all that.

But August was often one of my least favorite months of the year.

Is it as bad as those long cold days in February? Impossible.

Is it as sad as January when all the holiday fun is over and the spring days are a mere speckle at the end of the tunnel? Of course not. Those months truly suck.

However, August represents the opposite feeling of January and February. The tunnel is coming. That long, dark tunnel. In order to extend my July mindset, I began calling August “July 2.0” and just kept the days going. August 1 is actually July 32.

This year, now that I am not fearing my re-entry into the school year, I feel different. The month isn’t an enemy, but I am sure that other emotions will come later on when school kicks back up and I don’t have a school to go to for the first time since I was 4-years-old.

So today, I thought I’d write a primer on how to help a teacher friend deal with the month of August.

Avoid Back to School Commercials

The NYTimes just posted a bougie Back to School shopping list. Walmart and Target and everyone else are trying to sell parents on the nostalgia that an awesome binder, amazing pencil box, or a cute outfit will make their kid like school more this September. When these commercials come on the TV, it’s your duty to change the channel. No matter how catchy the song is or how good the kids are at dancing. These commercials can ruin an entire day in August for some teachers.

Don’t Ask if They’re Excited to Get Back into the Routine

Teachers often lie to themselves that by the middle of August they’re ready to get back into the swing of things. The loss of routine has left them feeling helpless and ready to get back into the classroom (ask them how they feel about their “routine” when it’s late September and they have to stay late for Back to School Night).

There were some years when I would tell myself on the last week of summer that I was going to set my alarm clock for my workday wake-up so I can “reset my body clock.” This is another routine crock of crap. My alarm would go off, I’d snooze, and then I’d turn it off and I’d still be in bed until a bit later than I should have been. That might be an issue with my own source of will power to pull myself out of bed, but just go with me, okay?

The truth is, having no routine is wonderful and any teacher that tells you otherwise is lying to you. How should you handle this lie? Just smile and nod, because they’re lying to themselves, too. It’s a defense mechanism. They’ll be okay. Just be support and let them talk it through with you. But don’t bring it up yourself and don’t believe them because if you told them school isn’t opening until October 1, not a single teacher would say, “Um, I think’d I’d rather get started on the Wednesday after Labor Day. I’m just feeling like I’m ready to get back into the swing of things.” Instead, they’d let out a joyous scream and give you a massive hug.

Don’t “Summer Shame” in August

I know, I know. Everyone else in the world would kill a litter of puppies for an entire month off from work, especially when that month is after a month of not working. “Summer Shaming” is fine in June and July. Teachers know how lucky they are to get time off to do whatever it is they would like. The freedom is glorious, but the”Summer Shame” window shuts on August 1. It’s too late and the emotional scarring can be quite damaging.

Steal and change their work email

I’m not kidding about this one. At my old school, August 1 is the date that class rosters are sent out to families and faculty. Faculty also receive the schedule for Opening Meetings on August 1, which are held the week before Labor Day (see, August is shrinking. It’s not a whole month off…). Those mailings are the cue to a lot of people that school is open for business. Maybe that nervous parent wants to schedule a meeting to discuss their child’s transition into a new grade. Maybe a coworker has a question about that new book you’re adding to the curriculum. That stuff can wait a couple more weeks, but the surefire way to make sure the teacher in your life enjoys August is to take away their email privileges.

Soak up those Sundays

A few of my teacher friends and I often text on Sundays during vacations to remind ourselves how lucky we are. Sunday Scaries are real, and making sure that you enjoy the Sundays that don’t have the scaries is important because they are running out. Fast. Go have that boozy brunch. Sleep-in and make pancakes at home. Binge a TV show. Read an entire GD book. Take a day trip to that place you read about on that Trillist list that you always forget immediately after reading it. (“Best day trips spots if you live in fill in the blank city…).

August is a month of Sundays for teachers. The school year is looming over the horizon like the Mind Flayer in Stranger Things. Be kind to your teacher friends, their time is running out.